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Some of these are funny quotes to start the day with. 10. "Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day." - Glen Cook. 11. "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha.


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Peter: "I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob." —Bob (Paul Wilson) and Peter (Ron Livingston), Office Space. "I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.". — Clarence Darrow. "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.". — Oscar Wilde.


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4. "People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made." —Joan Rivers. 5. "Do not take life too seriously. You will never.


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Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. Spanish proverb. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Rodney Dangerfield. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something. Mitch Hedberg. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. Unknown.


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You can also check out our lists of Sunday Morning Quotes and Funny Sunday Quotes. "Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.". ― Joseph Addison. "How I long for the day to come when Sunday is every day of the week.". ― Byron Pulsifer. "Time flows in a strange way on Sundays.". ― Haruki Murakami.


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11. "I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.". — David Lee Roth. 12. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see.


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Fun Quotes of the Day. "Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.". - Dale Carnegie. "When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.". - Richard Lewis. "Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.". - Mark Twain.


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Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.". - Michael Scott, The Office. "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.". - Charles M. Schulz. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.". - Will Ferrell.


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8. "By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work 12 hours a day." —Robert Frost. 9. "The road to success is always under construction." —Lily.


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Take a much-needed break from your day to check out these 101 funny quotes we found in stand-up comedy, books, plays, celebrity Twitter and interviews, as well as movies and TV shows, guaranteed.


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31. "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."—. Oscar Wilde. 32. " The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are.


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Funny Good Day Quotes. Tip for the day: Follow your heart but take your brain with you. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. Life is too short to be serious all the time. So If you can't laugh at yourself call me…. I'll laugh at you.


Morning

8. "Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.". - Anonymous. 9. "The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.". - Lucille Ball. 10. "You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.".


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Short 'Have a Good Day' Quotes. "It's a good day to have a good day.". — Hoda Kotb. "Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long, you miss them.". — William Arthur Ward. "As you wait for better days, don't forget to enjoy today, in case they've already started.". — Robert Breault.


have a good day quotes funny Huge Advance Chronicle Pictures Library

Charles Shulz. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.". - George Carlin. A day without laughter is a day wasted. Charlie Chaplin. Political correctness is tyranny with manners. Charleton Heston. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama.


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Funny Motivational Quotes. 1. "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.". — Thomas Edison. 2. "Be happy, it drives people crazy." — Paulo.